Grief is not a disorder and we will not treat it like one. But it can get stuck, and when it does, it helps to have someone in the room.
There is no schedule for this. Six weeks, six years, the anniversary that arrives sideways and takes the whole day with it.
Come when you want to. There is no threshold you have to cross first, and no version of this that is too small to bring.
What is grief?
Grief is not five stages you work through in order. It comes in waves. It goes quiet for a month. It ambushes you in a supermarket aisle over a brand of biscuits.
It is also not only about death. People grieve marriages, health, careers, the country they left, the parent they never actually had, and the future they had already half built.
Most grief does not need therapy. It needs time and people. Therapy is for when the time is passing and nothing is moving, or when there is nobody left to say it to.
When to seek help for grief
Recognizing the signs and knowing when support can help
When months have gone and the world has not restarted. When you cannot go near the things that remind you, or you cannot go anywhere else. When the drinking has quietly increased. When you have organised everything and everyone and have not cried once.
None of that is failing at grief. It is grief with nowhere to go.
